Friday, March 27, 2009

We have two weeks to catch up which feels great! We are not having another meeting until April 16th so we have chance to catch up on a few jobs. We have been left a to-do list, which includes
  • taking photos of us and our home
  • completing a finance form
  • writing notes that answer questions about behaviour management and more!
  • detail again our reasons for adopting in as few words as possible!
  • write a bibliography of book and articles we have read re: adoption
  • buy a fire extinguisher!

...plus a couple more minor tasks! If we get most of this done by next time we should be nearly finished for the home study part. Our social worker then has to write the 6 part report, which we have to sign three times! Then we should be ready for panel. You may have noticed our date has changed. That is because our agency has changed how often panel happens, but it is probably good as the slightly later date (2 weeks later) gives us a little more time to get ready and make up for the time we lost while our first social worker was taken ill.

Something our social worker said this week, "It is now very real!" It still feels a long way off, but when we look how far we have come and how quickly the next steps could move along we suppose it is. But we have been waiting for so long, and thinking 'one day' that soon seems a bit premature. In reality it could still take years, and we are prepared for that. But we are not sure when it will feel real. When we send our papers abroad? When we receive a photo? When we hold our child? When we get home with them? At the moment it is not sinking in. We will let you know when it does! Thanks again for your love and support,

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Exhaustion is setting in a little bit! Constantly thinking through how to answer so many questions, completing paperwork, and finding evidence for so many things is an emotional journey that has more of an effect on us than we realise. We find after an interview we are starving and tried! Trying to carry on normal tasks seems to be more difficult, and we have to remind ourselves that we need time when we don't think about these issues and relax!
Yesterday went well, and we have a growing list of things to pull together, such as photos, legal documents, etc. We felt reassured by our social worker that we were on the right track with what we had completed so far, and that there was nothing jumping out at him that would worry him. Good to know! We have another meeting on Thursday, and we will then have Easter break to rest and get together the next lot of stuff!
Please pray that we are not relying on our own strength and that we find time over Easter especially to really rest. This is heavy going! Thanks,

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Sorry for the delay but these last few days have been busy! We have been to visit with friends, and have been doing some DIY as well as more paperwork! Our social worker was friendly, made us feel relaxed and was very keen to move forward quickly, which is great. He said he will do all he can to keep the date for panel, and hope that he will be able to catch up on the interviews we have already done. We will of course have to go back over some stuff, as he needs to get to know us, but we should be able to do this in a condensed way!

We feel pleased to still be moving ahead, and are beginning to understand more about God's plan for us. We still fluctuate between fear and trust, but we think trust is winning!! We guess it is normal to second guess, and think of all the possible outcomes of this journey. There are still so many uncertainties. But ultimately it is not our decision. God has a plan, we just pray we have ears to hear and a willing heart. We are finding that it is not our role to understand God's ways through this journey, but to have faith that he will not let us fall. God bless,

Monday, March 09, 2009

We think we mentioned before about the need to be flexible when going through the adoption process? Well once again we have learnt this lesson! During the last day of training our social worker left early. We later found out that she was very ill, and had gone to the hospital. A few days later we received a call to explain that she would no longer be able to take our case, and we would be reassigned a new social worker! We were obviously concerned that she was ill, and felt that this was one of those things that could not be helped. So, today we meet our new social worker! We have a man this time, and he is hopeful that our panel date, the day we get a yes or no from the agency, will remain the same as panel is not held very often. We really hope so, and will probably have to add in some more dates when we will meet our new social worker over Easter break to catch up, and help him get to know us better.
This afternoon, he will be going over what we have done so far, and so hopefully we will not have to revisit everything again, but at this stage we don't know.
We value your prayers:

  • That we quickly build a good relationship with our new social worker
  • That we can organise enough appointments so that we can keep our panel date the same
  • That we continue to trust God, His timing is still perfect!

We are quickly realising that relationship with the social worker is really important, as they are building a picture and making a judgement on you and your ability to parent! We will let you know how we get on later. Thanks,

Friday, February 27, 2009

We managed to complete the third day of the course, which was a lot less heavy, and focused on parenting and having your child home. It is nice to feel we have completed that part, and will not have to travel to Oxford anymore. We are hoping to complete our other interviews over the next few weeks, and then get ready to travel to Reading (we think) for our panel appointment.
Apart from Catherine having a nasty cold, we feel OK about the next steps, and need to complete a bit more paperwork before our next meeting. Things are still moving along well, and we will let you know how the next interview goes.

Friday, February 20, 2009

The interviews are over for this week, and we feel happy with what we have shared and how things have gone. Today's was more about our skills as potential parents, and our strengths to cope with the issues we might face. We felt we could be open and share how we felt about a range of issues, and feel positive about the steps ahead.

Just so you know, some of the dates in the 'Still to Come' column have changed again, to fit around our social workers schedule and so that we can limit the time we have off work. We are learning that during this process you need to be flexible!!

Thanks for all your extra prayers this week. We feel we have indeed got on well with our social worker, and feel much more relaxed about the interview process now we have had chance to get to know her. Our next event is our final Course day away in Oxford. This will conclude the training part, and all that will be left will be a range of interviews. The last day they have assured us will be more relaxed and upbeat, focusing on having the child at home. The topics will be:
  • Country links
  • Naming your child
  • Making a life book for an adopted child
  • Managing racism
  • the views of a young adopted person
  • An adoptive parents speaks

We will get to chat to a parent who has recently been through the process, and ask questions. We are looking forward to completing the course, and really feel we have learnt a lot.
If you are praying, please pray for:
Good contact to be maintained with those on our training course
That we will have the energy to attend the training mid week and carry on with work the next day!
That we will continue to build a good relationship with our social worker

Thanks,

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

We have completed our first interviews and they went well. We talked to the social worker separately about growing up, our families and our lives together. We felt exhausted after Monday, but after resting yesterday, we felt much more awake today! We both felt the interviews were positive, and we chatted easily with our social worker. She asked a range of questions to clarify what we had written, but nothing was too tricky.
We are planning to have a day to ourselves tomorrow, to relax and not think about adoption all day! It is very hard to switch your brain off, and not to mull over the issues we are discussing, decisions we need to make and imagining what will go wrong! We didn't realise how emotionally tiring this would be, but we still trust and know that we are making steps in the right direction after waiting so long.
Thanks so much for the supportive words and prayers. We really do value each one! Be in touch Friday,

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Hi all,
Two down, one to go! We had our second day of the preparation course yesterday, which was heavy going, but taught us a lot. Dealing with loss and grieving is a hard topic to spend the day exploring, but we feel better prepared and have ideas of how to help a child through. Our final day is next Wednesday.
Before that we have our interviews, starting this Wednesday. The social worker is coming to our home for all our interviews, so we don't have to travel, but the topics are again pretty deep. We are preparing our paper work before hand each time, and are looking forward to getting to know our worker better.
If you are praying:

  • Thank God for those we have met on the course, and for all we are learning
  • Pray that our relationship with our social worker will build as we get to know her and discuss our lives and hopes with her. It is very important that we get on well, as we will be sharing a lot about ourselves, and she will recommend us for continuing the process.

    Will let you know how this week goes, thanks

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Just thought we would give you the topics we are finally going to cover in day two of the preprartion course! We will be travelling to Oxford on Sunday evening, ready for the course on Monday. We will look at:
  • Loss and grief in adoption
  • The birth parents' perspective
  • Health issues
  • Managing children's behaviour
  • A story of parting (not sure what that is!!)
  • Meeting your child overseas
  • Exploring adoption with young children

Again a heavy day, this first heavy day in a heavy week! Half term will not be a rest, and we will be pretty busy catching up on all the appointments we missed due to the jolly snow! (It was beautiful but caused us some headaches!)

We would be grateful for your prayers as we embark on the week, prepare a few essays! and answer a lot of difficult questions. Thanks,


Thursday, February 05, 2009

Guess what?! More snow! Not for us but for our social worker, so the meeting today was cancelled. We keep having to cancel these things, so we have planned with the social worker to cram everything into half term. It will be pretty intense but it should mean we catch up with the things we have missed. Maybe we will get there eventually!! Thanks for all your encouraging words. In His timing!!

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

We knew progress was slow, but we seem to be stuck in delays at the moment. Not only was Luke's interview cancelled, but the 2nd training day was also cancelled due to snow! Some of the other applicants and trainers were comming from London area, so they decided it was best not to travel. The only problem was we were already booked into our hotel in Oxford and out having an evening meal when we got a call explaining the situation!
We hadn't even got our food, so after eating, travelling back to the hotel and getting intouch with work it was late and the snow wasn't far behind. We made the decision to stay the night in Oxford and travel in the light rather than arrive home in the early hours. This meant we still had our time off from school, and may need to request another day to attend the rescheduled meeting. It has been arranged for 25th Feb, a week after half term.

Catherine is hoping to have her individual interview tomorrow, but there is more snow forcast so we shall see what happens! She has done her paperwork for the meeting.6 pages! 2000 words! It was hard work and felt pretty personal, but we have to keep reminding ourselves they are doing it for the child. If we forget that we could be quite bothered by it all. It seems unfair that we have to prove so much, and justify every decision and action, but we have to go with it and trust God in the process.

Will let you know what happens next, and hope the snow isn't causing you as much trouble!

Monday, January 26, 2009

Just to let you know, Luke's individual interview, which was supposed to be tomorrow has been cancelled, as the social worker has a legal meeting somewhere else.
This gives us a little more time to get our heads around the paperwork at least! We will let you know when it has been rescheduled.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Well, we have completed day 1. It was a long day and pretty intense. We covered all the topics listed below and more! It was great to be in a room of people who were in the same position as us, and we didn't need to explain our situation to anyone! We were fairly brain dead by the end, and as all the training is in Oxford it was a while before we got home. However, it felt good to start the journey more officially, and we were given lots to think about. We talked as groups, listened to the two social workers, and watched video clips. All very helpful.
We met some lovely people, no one really local but very kind and helpful. We look forward to getting to know them better next time!
Next is a couple of interviews, then on to day 2. We still have loads of paper work to do, and now a big blue folder too!
Thanks for all of your ongoing support,

Thursday, January 15, 2009

We thought we would let you know what our preparation days hold as we attend each one. We have been given a run down of each day, so here is day 1:
  • The Adoption Process
  • The Adoption Assessment
  • ICA (Inter Country Adoption) Process: From Panel to Completion
  • Thinking About Parenting
  • Parenting Children from Overseas
  • The Impact of the Past on the Adopted Child
  • Institutional Care
  • Attachment in Action

A breeze then really! Should be a pretty intense day but very informative.

If you are praying for us, please pray that we get to know the other families on the course with us. We have heard from others how, the friends you make on these days can become friends for life. They are other people in the same boat, and we are really hoping to connect with them, and increase our network of those who have been, or are going through the same things and emotions as us. There is something special about going through this at the same time as another family, and it would be amazing if someone there also shared our faith!

We leave Taunton this Sunday, so we are ready for Monday without battling traffic (we had to request the day off work). We will update you all on how the day went after that, then the interviews begin!

We are still working through the paper work. We hope we are doing it all right! You are never quite sure what the right thing to write down is, as we have been told we need to include just the right ammount of detail!! Guess we'll soon find out! Thanks for your prayers,


Thursday, January 08, 2009

Happy New Year!
This is the year we plan to make lots of progress towards building our family and seeing God do amazing things!
We are going to our first training day soon, and are in touch already with other families that are adopting this year. We are keen to get going, and although we have many big decisions to make, we know we are in the will of God!
We trust you all had a great Christmas, and will let you know soon what training day one will hold.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

We have met our social worker and it went well. She is very knowledgeable and had lots of tips and information for us. We felt reassured that the process is finally underway, eventhough there is so much to do!
We have tons of meetings with her, as part of the home study, and homework to complete between each meeting! We are going to be pretty busy, but it is great to feel like God's plan for our lives is comming to pass. We still have lots of uncertainty and details to sort out, but we are stepping out in faith, not really knowing where God is leading us, but following anyway!

We have given an outline of the process in the list on the right, but just to fill you in, once the homestudy (all the interviews) are complete, our social worker puts all the inforation together on one form, whcih is edited lots of times, by us and other social workers. It is then sent to panel, which is where we meet a board of people made up of social workers, parents, adopted adults and medical professionals, who look over our form, talk to us and then we leave the room while they decide what recommendation to make. Can we adopt or not? How many children? From where? What age? The we return to hear their verdict! Their recomendation is passed on to the Decision maker, who gets back to us with a week, to let us know if we are approved. If they say yes, we can then collect together all the papers, and complete the legal side to send to the Sending Country. Then we wait to be matched, which can take a very long time!

The date for Panel is a big day! It seems a long way off yet, but it is nice to have a date!
We hope you have a great Christmas. Love

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Well, both medicals are over! Nothing too embarrassing thankfully, but glad to be done. We made it into a very friendly competition between us, and I wont say who won what, but we both came out fine! They will be sent off to our agency's doctor to be checked, then added to the pile of things completed. We hope not to hear about them again, all being well.
We are now trying to get floor laid and painting done in our house, ready for our home visit in a couple of weeks.
Please continue to pray that

  • we would feel at ease and be able to talk openly to our social worker when we meet. She is very experienced and an adopter herself, so we are sure she will be very understanding. It is more our own nerves we are worried about!
  • Also pray that we are not too tired! We are meeting her the first Monday after we break up, normally the day to collapse and get the flu!

Thanks for your ongoing support (and kind comments AM!)


Monday, December 01, 2008

One medical down, one to go!! Then on to our appointment to meet our social worker on December the 22nd. Although not an official visit, she is coming to our home to chat through our reasons and choices regarding adoption. We must say, it feels official! But we know that God is in this with us, and our prayer is that she understands our faith and we have the right words to say without getting too emotional!

Also you will now notice a link at the bottom of each post we write which says 'comments'. You can click on this and write us a little note! It would be great to hear from those who are reading this, so feel free to write to us there.

God Bless,

Sunday, November 23, 2008

We have more paperwork to complete, including a family tree each and a chronology of our lives until this point! I am rubbish with dates but thankfully I have Luke!

We just wanted to add a big thank you to those who have written references for us, and are grateful to have such wonderful friends and family.
Now we wait for the training to begin in January and try to get our house in order for when the home study begins!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

We have received more forms to complete, medical appointments to make and have been assigned a social worker.
Please pray that:


  • We know God's peace as we answer so many questions!

  • That we can make practical arrangements for attending the training

  • That we know God's presence as we prepare to complete our home study and meet our social worker

We really appreciate your support, Thank you xx