Just one and half weeks to panel now. Getting closer!
The panel takes place in Reading and is at 12.00 midday. We are travelling up that morning and hope it will be over fairly quickly. Will keep you posted!

Some people have mentioned to me that they can't seem to subscribe to the blog using the notify list at the side. If you wish to and are having trouble, please send me your e-mail address and I will add you myself. Not sure what is going on but I will try and fix it!

Thanks,

Just two and a half weeks to panel now. We have recieved a copy of our social workers report which the panel will read. We have had to proof read it to make sure that everything was correct and how we meant it to come across!

It has been nice to relax this week and not worry about paperwork, but it is also strange as the process feels quite removed from us again and so unreal! Thinking about being a familiy of more than just us two seems very odd, and distant.

We have bought our first toy.

To celebrate ending the Home study!!

(Sassy Talk 'n Talk bilingual phone! It makes Spanish and English sounds)

We will collect little items in celebration of mile stones we reach in the process or special events in our lives.

Other examples we have bought include:

Bilingual story book

First words in Spanish

So in little ways we feel we can prepare and we look forward to explaining when each item was bought, and the anticipation we had. Our hope in in God for the future, and our prayer at the moment is 'help us with the wait, direct us to our children'. Once panel is done and the outcome is possitive (we hope!) we can begin to ask God to bring us to the children He knows will be ours.

We trust you!

Thankyou again to our freinds and family who are holding us through the wait- you are the best!

For those outside the world of adoption, here is some information about the process we have been through so far from online. We are currently checking the drafted form F with our social worker via e-mail!

Assessment Form
The Form F assessment process is a nationally recognised format for the assessment of potential adopters and has been designed by the British Agency for Adoption & Fostering. The home study is demanding and can feel intrusive, but there are good reasons why everything is explored in depth. Adoption is for life and the agency must be sure that the candidates are right for the role. Just as importantly, they must be certain the new parents can make a success of it. Adopters have a crucial role to play at this time, the assessment is a collaborative one with applicants providing evidence of their skills, experience and knowledge to show their competence and understanding confirmed by the social worker's views.

The assessment explores:

Your experience (if any) of caring for children
Providing a safe and caring environment
Working as part of a team
Your understanding of adoption as a lifelong process
Your own childhood and family background and what that has contributed to who you are today
Any previous serious relationships
Any children already in the family
Your understanding of circumstances that lead to children not being able to live with their birth families, and how you think that may affect them
The kind of child you want, and that would fit in with your lifestyle / interests / and personalities.
How you think you might respond to the challenges of parenting.

This is what comes next!!

Adoption Panel

The Adoption Panel consists of up to 10 members from among the following:

An independent chairperson
A locally elected Councillor
2 social workers with at least 3 years experience.
3 independent members drawn from adults who have experience of adoption (ie adopted, been adopted themselves), or who have knowledge of the care system, or professional work with children (ie teachers)
A legal advisor
A medical advisor
An agency adoption advisor
Additionally there is a Panel administrator, who takes the minutes.

Sound fun! From what we hear the 10 people are kind and not at all scary. Lets hope we remember that on June 17th!! Hope this makes the process a little clearer.

We are excited to hear that people in our agency's group that trained with us are going to panel, and some couples have already been approved. It is really exciting and makes our time seem just around the corner!

It has been nice to have some normal life back. We have had no meetings, no pressing forms to fill in and no to-do lists for a couple of weeks since finishing our home study, and are liking it! We have had a draft of our final report to look at, to check we are OK with what the social worker has written, but apart from that we are in waiting mode. We have visited friends, kept working hard and even enjoyed a bit of sun (only here at home, no where exotic!) We are finding our more about Peru, and thinking a lot about the time we will spend there. It is exciting but there are a lot of questions. We are planning to learn some Spanish, but as Catherine has some Portuguese we hope it wont be too tricky! (at least for one of us!) Joining an online group has been great, because it means we can chat to other families adopting from Peru with much more experience than us. We have found out so much. The inter country adoption world is quite small, particularly in the UK, and it seems that no question is too big or small! Everyone is so willing to help, it is very reassuring. I am sure others have found the same.

Need to check the last bit of the report and e-mail it back so that it gets to our agency on time. At least this process has improved my organisation skills!! Thanks all,

You may have noticed that a new clock and map have appeared on this page! We can now let you all know that PERU is the country we are adopting from!! This decision was made quite a while ago, but there were some uncertainties. Now we are set, and that is where our paperwork will be sent.

We thought we knew which country God was calling us to, but in His unique way He has brought us to the point where we can abandon our ideas and respond to His leading. China was going to be, and still is for many, a very long wait. There were some uncertainties surrounding Thailand. Our social worker introduced us to the idea of Peru, and with our links with South America, ability to learn some Spanish, a sound programme and the possibility to travel there more easily, we explored further. We believe it is where we are meant to go and are persuing it keenly. (but as always are open to God's direction if things in the country or programme suddenly change, which we really hope they don't!).

Peru only opened last year to the UK, and so there are very few UK families adopting from there at the moment. This means that some of our questions can't be answered, as we are one of the first couples preparing for Peru.We sometimes feel anxious that so much is unknown, but we are trusting God for each step.

We are looking forward to Panel, and are keen to get a decision so that we can move the process forward. Once our papers are translated and sent, we wait!! Yet again, all in God's timing.

We have done it!! We have finally had our last home study interview!!!

This means that we are nearly ready for panel. We might have a few more e-mails to reply to, but other than that we wait. We have worked hard the last few weeks to get that to do list sorted (but still have to buy a fire extinguisher! Any ideas?!)

The next big date is June 17th. This will be a day in Reading at our agencies offices, where we will spend the day with our social worker answering questions and waiting on a recommendation; approved, approved but some things to do, or not approved. We are hoping for the first decision obviously!

We are getting closer. It struck me the other day that the lists at the side of this page are changing length, and now our done list is longer than our to do list! That is a good feeling!

We have two weeks to catch up which feels great! We are not having another meeting until April 16th so we have chance to catch up on a few jobs. We have been left a to-do list, which includes

• taking photos of us and our home
• completing a finance form
• writing notes that answer questions about behaviour management and more!
• detail again our reasons for adopting in as few words as possible!
• write a bibliography of book and articles we have read re: adoption
• buy a fire extinguisher!

...plus a couple more minor tasks! If we get most of this done by next time we should be nearly finished for the home study part. Our social worker then has to write the 6 part report, which we have to sign three times! Then we should be ready for panel. You may have noticed our date has changed. That is because our agency has changed how often panel happens, but it is probably good as the slightly later date (2 weeks later) gives us a little more time to get ready and make up for the time we lost while our first social worker was taken ill.

Something our social worker said this week, "It is now very real!" It still feels a long way off, but when we look how far we have come and how quickly the next steps could move along we suppose it is. But we have been waiting for so long, and thinking 'one day' that soon seems a bit premature. In reality it could still take years, and we are prepared for that. But we are not sure when it will feel real. When we send our papers abroad? When we receive a photo? When we hold our child? When we get home with them? At the moment it is not sinking in. We will let you know when it does! Thanks again for your love and support,

Exhaustion is setting in a little bit! Constantly thinking through how to answer so many questions, completing paperwork, and finding evidence for so many things is an emotional journey that has more of an effect on us than we realise. We find after an interview we are starving and tried! Trying to carry on normal tasks seems to be more difficult, and we have to remind ourselves that we need time when we don't think about these issues and relax!
Yesterday went well, and we have a growing list of things to pull together, such as photos, legal documents, etc. We felt reassured by our social worker that we were on the right track with what we had completed so far, and that there was nothing jumping out at him that would worry him. Good to know! We have another meeting on Thursday, and we will then have Easter break to rest and get together the next lot of stuff!
Please pray that we are not relying on our own strength and that we find time over Easter especially to really rest. This is heavy going! Thanks,

Sorry for the delay but these last few days have been busy! We have been to visit with friends, and have been doing some DIY as well as more paperwork! Our social worker was friendly, made us feel relaxed and was very keen to move forward quickly, which is great. He said he will do all he can to keep the date for panel, and hope that he will be able to catch up on the interviews we have already done. We will of course have to go back over some stuff, as he needs to get to know us, but we should be able to do this in a condensed way!

We feel pleased to still be moving ahead, and are beginning to understand more about God's plan for us. We still fluctuate between fear and trust, but we think trust is winning!! We guess it is normal to second guess, and think of all the possible outcomes of this journey. There are still so many uncertainties. But ultimately it is not our decision. God has a plan, we just pray we have ears to hear and a willing heart. We are finding that it is not our role to understand God's ways through this journey, but to have faith that he will not let us fall. God bless,

We think we mentioned before about the need to be flexible when going through the adoption process? Well once again we have learnt this lesson! During the last day of training our social worker left early. We later found out that she was very ill, and had gone to the hospital. A few days later we received a call to explain that she would no longer be able to take our case, and we would be reassigned a new social worker! We were obviously concerned that she was ill, and felt that this was one of those things that could not be helped. So, today we meet our new social worker! We have a man this time, and he is hopeful that our panel date, the day we get a yes or no from the agency, will remain the same as panel is not held very often. We really hope so, and will probably have to add in some more dates when we will meet our new social worker over Easter break to catch up, and help him get to know us better.
This afternoon, he will be going over what we have done so far, and so hopefully we will not have to revisit everything again, but at this stage we don't know.
We value your prayers:

• That we quickly build a good relationship with our new social worker
• That we can organise enough appointments so that we can keep our panel date the same
• That we continue to trust God, His timing is still perfect!

We are quickly realising that relationship with the social worker is really important, as they are building a picture and making a judgement on you and your ability to parent! We will let you know how we get on later. Thanks,

We managed to complete the third day of the course, which was a lot less heavy, and focused on parenting and having your child home. It is nice to feel we have completed that part, and will not have to travel to Oxford anymore. We are hoping to complete our other interviews over the next few weeks, and then get ready to travel to Reading (we think) for our panel appointment.
Apart from Catherine having a nasty cold, we feel OK about the next steps, and need to complete a bit more paperwork before our next meeting. Things are still moving along well, and we will let you know how the next interview goes.

The interviews are over for this week, and we feel happy with what we have shared and how things have gone. Today's was more about our skills as potential parents, and our strengths to cope with the issues we might face. We felt we could be open and share how we felt about a range of issues, and feel positive about the steps ahead.

Just so you know, some of the dates in the 'Still to Come' column have changed again, to fit around our social workers schedule and so that we can limit the time we have off work. We are learning that during this process you need to be flexible!!

Thanks for all your extra prayers this week. We feel we have indeed got on well with our social worker, and feel much more relaxed about the interview process now we have had chance to get to know her. Our next event is our final Course day away in Oxford. This will conclude the training part, and all that will be left will be a range of interviews. The last day they have assured us will be more relaxed and upbeat, focusing on having the child at home. The topics will be:

• Country links
• Naming your child
• Making a life book for an adopted child
• Managing racism
• the views of a young adopted person
• An adoptive parents speaks

We will get to chat to a parent who has recently been through the process, and ask questions. We are looking forward to completing the course, and really feel we have learnt a lot.
If you are praying, please pray for:
Good contact to be maintained with those on our training course
That we will have the energy to attend the training mid week and carry on with work the next day!
That we will continue to build a good relationship with our social worker

Thanks,

We have completed our first interviews and they went well. We talked to the social worker separately about growing up, our families and our lives together. We felt exhausted after Monday, but after resting yesterday, we felt much more awake today! We both felt the interviews were positive, and we chatted easily with our social worker. She asked a range of questions to clarify what we had written, but nothing was too tricky.
We are planning to have a day to ourselves tomorrow, to relax and not think about adoption all day! It is very hard to switch your brain off, and not to mull over the issues we are discussing, decisions we need to make and imagining what will go wrong! We didn't realise how emotionally tiring this would be, but we still trust and know that we are making steps in the right direction after waiting so long.
Thanks so much for the supportive words and prayers. We really do value each one! Be in touch Friday,

Hi all,
Two down, one to go! We had our second day of the preparation course yesterday, which was heavy going, but taught us a lot. Dealing with loss and grieving is a hard topic to spend the day exploring, but we feel better prepared and have ideas of how to help a child through. Our final day is next Wednesday.
Before that we have our interviews, starting this Wednesday. The social worker is coming to our home for all our interviews, so we don't have to travel, but the topics are again pretty deep. We are preparing our paper work before hand each time, and are looking forward to getting to know our worker better.
If you are praying:

• Thank God for those we have met on the course, and for all we are learning
• Pray that our relationship with our social worker will build as we get to know her and discuss our lives and hopes with her. It is very important that we get on well, as we will be sharing a lot about ourselves, and she will recommend us for continuing the process.
  
  Will let you know how this week goes, thanks
  

Just thought we would give you the topics we are finally going to cover in day two of the preprartion course! We will be travelling to Oxford on Sunday evening, ready for the course on Monday. We will look at:

• Loss and grief in adoption
• The birth parents' perspective
• Health issues
• Managing children's behaviour
• A story of parting (not sure what that is!!)
• Meeting your child overseas
• Exploring adoption with young children

Again a heavy day, this first heavy day in a heavy week! Half term will not be a rest, and we will be pretty busy catching up on all the appointments we missed due to the jolly snow! (It was beautiful but caused us some headaches!)

We would be grateful for your prayers as we embark on the week, prepare a few essays! and answer a lot of difficult questions. Thanks,

Guess what?! More snow! Not for us but for our social worker, so the meeting today was cancelled. We keep having to cancel these things, so we have planned with the social worker to cram everything into half term. It will be pretty intense but it should mean we catch up with the things we have missed. Maybe we will get there eventually!! Thanks for all your encouraging words. In His timing!!

We knew progress was slow, but we seem to be stuck in delays at the moment. Not only was Luke's interview cancelled, but the 2nd training day was also cancelled due to snow! Some of the other applicants and trainers were comming from London area, so they decided it was best not to travel. The only problem was we were already booked into our hotel in Oxford and out having an evening meal when we got a call explaining the situation!
We hadn't even got our food, so after eating, travelling back to the hotel and getting intouch with work it was late and the snow wasn't far behind. We made the decision to stay the night in Oxford and travel in the light rather than arrive home in the early hours. This meant we still had our time off from school, and may need to request another day to attend the rescheduled meeting. It has been arranged for 25th Feb, a week after half term.

Catherine is hoping to have her individual interview tomorrow, but there is more snow forcast so we shall see what happens! She has done her paperwork for the meeting.6 pages! 2000 words! It was hard work and felt pretty personal, but we have to keep reminding ourselves they are doing it for the child. If we forget that we could be quite bothered by it all. It seems unfair that we have to prove so much, and justify every decision and action, but we have to go with it and trust God in the process.

Will let you know what happens next, and hope the snow isn't causing you as much trouble!

Just to let you know, Luke's individual interview, which was supposed to be tomorrow has been cancelled, as the social worker has a legal meeting somewhere else.
This gives us a little more time to get our heads around the paperwork at least! We will let you know when it has been rescheduled.

Well, we have completed day 1. It was a long day and pretty intense. We covered all the topics listed below and more! It was great to be in a room of people who were in the same position as us, and we didn't need to explain our situation to anyone! We were fairly brain dead by the end, and as all the training is in Oxford it was a while before we got home. However, it felt good to start the journey more officially, and we were given lots to think about. We talked as groups, listened to the two social workers, and watched video clips. All very helpful.
We met some lovely people, no one really local but very kind and helpful. We look forward to getting to know them better next time!
Next is a couple of interviews, then on to day 2. We still have loads of paper work to do, and now a big blue folder too!
Thanks for all of your ongoing support,

We thought we would let you know what our preparation days hold as we attend each one. We have been given a run down of each day, so here is day 1:

• The Adoption Process
• The Adoption Assessment
• ICA (Inter Country Adoption) Process: From Panel to Completion
• Thinking About Parenting
• Parenting Children from Overseas
• The Impact of the Past on the Adopted Child
• Institutional Care
• Attachment in Action

A breeze then really! Should be a pretty intense day but very informative.

If you are praying for us, please pray that we get to know the other families on the course with us. We have heard from others how, the friends you make on these days can become friends for life. They are other people in the same boat, and we are really hoping to connect with them, and increase our network of those who have been, or are going through the same things and emotions as us. There is something special about going through this at the same time as another family, and it would be amazing if someone there also shared our faith!

We leave Taunton this Sunday, so we are ready for Monday without battling traffic (we had to request the day off work). We will update you all on how the day went after that, then the interviews begin!

We are still working through the paper work. We hope we are doing it all right! You are never quite sure what the right thing to write down is, as we have been told we need to include just the right ammount of detail!! Guess we'll soon find out! Thanks for your prayers,